Pondering

(disclaimer:  

I hate that I even have to say this, because I think everyone that reads this is adult enough to know this, but I'll say it anyway.  This is MY blog, MY thoughts, & a reflection of MY journey.  It is not meant to offend anyone.  It's an honest post trying to capture my thoughts & feelings.  I share it for the sake of  possibly sparking an interest in someone else on their journey.  The example used in this entry is just that: an example (although it is REAL).  

It's not meant to be a debate and/or to "slam" anyone.  xoxo) 

I do a lot of thinking. A LOT. I spend a lot of time "inside" my head. I also do a lot of reading.  I try to keep my mind fresh.  I read about topics that interest me & I push myself to think outside of my box.  I enjoy learning.  Some of my favorite topics to read & learn about are parenting & Christianity.  Often times I share these articles on my personal Facebook page in case anyone else is interested in the topics as well.  

Through my thinking, reading, & learning I have come to realize that I could be a better person (couldn't we all?).  So I have decided to make some personal goals.  One of them is to think before I speak or react.  It's NOT easy.  It's actually quite annoying sometimes because it's oh-so-satisfying (in the short term) to snap back at someone that snaps at you.  And I am far from reaching my goal.  But I'm trying.  Another goal is to take in constructive criticism & use it to better myself.  Also not an easy task.  It's self-satisfying to say "I know it all", but it's humbling to think you could do better.   

So, with that said, I bring you to a post I made on my FB page a few weeks ago about something I saw on the street that day:
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:-( If you speak with that sarcastic/condescending tone of voice to your child out in public: a) I can only imagine how you speak to him in "private", b) WHY on earth would he want to "obey" you when you disrespect him like that, c) would that language & tone motivate YOU to do "right"? :-( I hope it was just an "off" moment for this mom.... xoxox to all the mom's out there. It's a tough job.




And this was the response that I received from one of my "friends":




Always judging... Judge not, lest ye be judged - you holy roller you... that should pull on your bible bookmark strings...




So, here's the thing. I honestly did not mean to be judgmental with my post.  I was sincerely recounting something that I observed that disturbed me & I was pointing out that being "mean" is not the way to handle a difficult situation.  I really thought/think that the way I closed my comment was a testament to my frame of mind- not of malice, but of love.  

BUT, being that I have those personal goals above, I bit my tongue and took a big breath after reading that comment.  I stewed in my thoughts....FOR A LONG TIME.  I took this as an opportunity for change & learning.

Here are some of my thoughts:

1)  Being a Christian does not = being perfect.  (So, to be clear: I am a Christian AND I am not perfect.)

2)  I said "my heart goes out to the moms..." This person is a dad.  Did I offend him by not supporting the dads?  If so, point taken.  I certainly think dads have a tough job as well.

3)  Did he misread my tone and/or did I misread his tone?  Quite possibly.

4)  I guess my point was not made, because he was (as far as I can tell) handling THIS "situation" by being "mean".

5)  I stand behind my post.  I honestly don't think I wouldn't change it (I am passionate about parenting.) although maybe I'd "soften" my introduction for "translation" sake.  BUT I am always open to KIND discussions.  I'm always open to learning and changing my ways.  "When you know better, you do better." is one of my favorite quotes & it's something I recite to myself A LOT.

6)  I am more conscious about my posts & I try to ponder if they may be misinterpreted before I post.  Sometimes I miss something.  KINDLY let me know and I'll be up for a discussion about it.

7)  It's easy to think someone else is the "problem".  It's hard to look inward.

8)  When you have a strong reaction about something, it's a chance to learn & reflect.

9)  I don't want to be "friends" with people that disrespect me.

10)  I am grateful for my faith.  

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye 

and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3 NIV