ThankYouGrace: My Journey of Grace

I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be. I know this for sure.

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps"

(Proverbs 16)

If you had asked me when I was 5 years old what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd have said a teacher or a bus driver. My thoughts on a profession came from what I saw around me. It wasn't until I was in high school that I stumbled upon the idea of "becoming" a social worker. It really was a perfect fit. I set my path & followed it all the way through graduate school. And it's a decision I have never regretted.

At almost any point on my road if you would have asked me if I'd be a mom, I'm pretty sure I'd have said "no". I babysat & I liked kids just fine (I was never head-over-heels in love with anyone's kids) but I never "dreamed" of being a mom. So clearly, I never pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom either.

God had His plans, though. Good plans. Actually, amazing plans. Perfect plans. And all of my ups and downs, highs and lows were part of the bigger picture that was being painted of my life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

and He will show you which path to take."

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

God knew when He'd lay on our hearts the desire to be parents. It wasn't just any random time. It was exactly when we were ready to take a leap and trust in Him completely. It was exactly when we were meant to become parents. Not a moment too soon & not a moment too late.

And I'll be honest, it is not easy to lay it all down and put 100% faith in God 100% of the time. It's scary. It's hard. But it's also beautiful. And exactly what we needed.

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Grace's name was not picked at random. The first time I went to church with my (eventually-to-be) husband, the sermon was about God's Grace. I learned a lot about grace from that day until the day we named our daughter. I am still learning. And I'm still in awe. Grace is an undeserved gift from God. It's not something that we've earned & it's not something that is our "right". It's a beautiful gift of God's love that He has chosen to give to us. How humbling & awesome is that?!

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith . . ."

(Ephesians 2:8)

My daughter has blessed my life beyond my wildest dreams. I am completely in love. She is the most wonderful and precious girl. I take my job as her mom very seriously. I belief wholeheartedly that all of my adventures and mistakes (which have given me quite a perspective on life) have brought me to this place of peace and contentment to focus all of my energy on being a mom and a wife. I am never resentful that I am no longer a "career woman" or that my degree is/was somehow "wasted". I KNOW that it was ALL a build-up to this place & this most amazing job.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

(Jeremiah 29:11)

Our precious gift is turning 2 years old! She is amazing. Every morning Grace greets me with a smile- what better alarm clock could I ask for?! She counts to 14 & she can identify some letters of the alphabet. She is a master at wooden puzzles & enjoys playing with her "girls" (dolls). Her favorite toy of all times is her pink bunny blanket that she calls "Money". She loves giggling & being mischievous with her daddy. She says please, thank you, & your welcome (among tons of other words). She loves our dogs, Jack & Thundra (Tunny). It is so cute to hear her say "excuse me Jack" or "excuse me Tunny" when she's trying to get by the dogs. (Which, by the way, her excuse me sounds more like "q-me" and it's adorable!)

It hasn't been easy every step of the way. Sometimes (most of the time, actually) it's been hard financially to be a stay-at-home mom, but we trust in God and His plan for us. There is nothing else I'd rather be doing & my husband supports this decision 100%. I know it's a blessing (& I will never take it for granted) to be home with my daughter ever day & to experience every moment of her development.

So, if you ask me today what I want to "be", I'm living a dream that I never knew I had: I'm a mom. That's exactly what I want to be. And, hands down, it's the best job EVER.

9/26/09
2 days before Grace was born.
At a wedding.

9/28/09
First picture.
We wanted to do skin-to-skin immediately,
but there was some panic right before she was born
so they had to make sure she was ok first.
Thankfully she was fine, so they took her hand and feet prints,
weighed her (7 lb, 2 oz) & then brought her over to me.