Contented Life

My life is FAR from perfect, but what it IS for sure is MINE.  Well, by the grace of God it's mine (ok, it's HIS really, but you know what I mean.).  I'm done- with a capital D- with pretending, done with following along, done with playing the game for the sake of the game.  I'm free. And it's wonderful.  


What do I mean by this?  Well, it's kind of complicated to explain.  I guess I always felt like I wasn't ever living for "me".  I played nice.  Followed the "right" path.  Said the "right" things.  Never out of malice and never deceitful.  Always authentic... well, at least I thought it was.  But honestly, I wasn't the me I was supposed to be.  I wasn't the me God meant me to be.  I was the me that was "expected".  


And here I sit.  Happy.  Oh so happy.  And I know it's because I am EXACTLY who God intends me to be.  Oh I'm still flawed.  So very flawed.  But that's ok.  I don't mind.  And God...well, he's amazing.  He's still got my back no matter what.  I look to Him, I pray, I repent.  I repeat.  I repent.  I repeat.  (catching on?)


So back to me being happy- Yup.  Happy with a capital H.  Even with the ups and downs.  The highs and lows.  The scary times.  The unknowns.  The dark corners.  C.O.N.T.E.N.T.  And it's beautiful.  Blissful.  Peaceful.  Lovely.  


When I get scared, or sad, or angry, or frustrated- I spin and spin... and then I remember.  Look UP.  Stop and look up.  Straight up.  Pray.  Breathe.  Pray.  Wait.  Patiently wait.  Listen.  Wait.  Pray.  Take a moment, soak it in, look around and rejoice.  Sometimes the answers come slowly, sometimes fast, sometimes... well sometimes I'm not exactly sure when the answer will come.  But it's ok.  I'm ok.... more than ok.  


My core has changed.  I feel it.  It's lighter, happier, brighter.  I am so grateful.  God is amazing.  

"Dare You To Move"

by Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

Switchfoot is by far my favorite band & I think Jon Forman is an absolute lyrical genius.  

This has always been one of my favorite songs, but it brings new meaning to me at this point in my life.  I connect with it on a deeper level that ever before.  xo