Looking Back, Looking Forward

LOOKING BACK:

January 2012

March 2012

June 2012

September 2012
(3 years old!)

December 2012

In a few days 2012 will come to a close.  That will mark 1.5 years since we arrived here in our beautiful city.  One year and six months.  Wow.  It's so hard to put into words what that means to me.  This city was a place that we visited every single year for 10 years.  We dreamed about this place a lot.  To live here truly is to live in my dreams.  

It's so fun to look out the window and watch the constant stream of people coming and going.  It's an adventure to step outside and have so many amazing destinations at our fingertips.  I feel so alive here.  I am so thankful to be here.  

Grace & I go for walks every day.  It's when I'm outside that I do a lot of talking to myself (not out-loud  lol), thinking, analyzing, drafting of blog posts- sorting my mind out, so to speak.  Lately I've been reflecting on my word for 2012:

*** open ***

I've been thinking about how God's beautiful grace has touched upon my life & how blessed I feel to receive his love.  
I've been thinking about how I have been trying to have my arms & my mind wide open.  The results have been grace radiating down upon me.  Blessing have been abundant.  

It blows my mind that my word for 2012 was "OPEN" and His glory poured down like a beautiful waterfall.  I'm not surprised, but I'm in awe.  
I think about how God guided us to this beautiful city full of amazing food.  And here we are eating healthier than we've ever eaten in our lives.  
I think about how every single time I wonder how we will pay for food or bills, we always find a way.  
I think about how we searched & searched for a new place to live and finally found an amazing condo to rent only 1 block away from our former place.  Exactly where we hoped to be.
I think about how much I have learned this year & how I have transformed.  My ears have been ready to hear, my mind has been ready to receive.
I think about how I used to hold things so tightly, felt the need to control everything, & believed that I was the one in charge.  Not any more.    
And in all of this God never fails.  Ever.  
When we submit to His will, we receive abundantly.  Beautifully.  Gloriously.  And when we don't, we struggle.  We stumble.  We fall.   
Looking back, I can clearly see this has happened.  And will continue to happen.  It's pretty awesome.

I feel like this painting could be a picture of my life right now.  A colorful unfinished masterpiece.  
In the end I trust that my life's picture will be beautiful beyond words.  
I used to want everything to be perfect right from the start.  
Now I know that that's not even possible nor does it even matter.  
And furthermore, who's definition of "perfect" was I clinging to? 
Once I became O P E N, I became free.
Beautifully free.
(And don't get me wrong.  There's SO much more to learn.  SO much more growing to do.) 

Opening my mind & heart has brought me great joy.  
Even in my darkest moments, I feel peace.  
I love this picture because I think it captures pure, beautiful joy.    

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: 

that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  

And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- 

we know that we have what we asked of him.

(1 John 5: 14-15)

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;

know and the door will be opened for you.

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds;

and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

(Matthew 7: 7-8)

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: 

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,

and a thousand years are like a day.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise,

as some understand slowness.

Instead he is patient with you,

not wanting anyone to perish,

but everyone to come to repentance."

(2 Peter 3: 8:9)

LOOKING FORWARD:
I have done a lot of thinking about my word for 2013.  I made a list of words that came to my mind.  I looked up their meaning.  I prayed about it.  And finally I feel confident that I have chosen the right one.  I'm pretty excited about it, too.
I have no idea what 2013 will bring.  And I'm OK with that.  I trust that God's got my back & all will be well.  

When peace is like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll:

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

("It is Well with My Soul", Horatio Spafford)

Thank you for reading my blog for the past year and a half.  

Look for my next post on 1/1/2013 where I will reveal my word for the year.  :-)

May His will be done.

I am OPEN to receive it.